Things are changing. Not my life but my love. I need to light the flame and stop letting my love for Jesus just simmer. Ever since I moved to Washington from California I had a hard time with my walk. Not that it diminished, more like I sat on a rock and started to enjoy the view. But the view took an ugly turn. I started disliking many "Christians", especially the ones I worked with at the time. The company I use to work for often used the name of God in his business but was such a crook. He payed his employees horribly, took away their health care and numerous other things, like shady work that was illegal. Ever since I quit my job after Olivia was born, I have felt a burden taken off my shoulder. Emotionally anyways. Sometimes we could use the extra money.
I didn't realize how "dark" my emotions really where until Postpartum Depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm usually very aware of my emotions, but I didn't know what to do with this and had never experienced it with my first pregnancy. One day after driving home from Target, I asked my husband for help, after visioning myself driving through a red light and crashing into a tree. I started taking med's and seeing a therapist, as well as finding outside things to put my energy into, like school and mom's groups(which I have made some really good friends through).
After coming through this fog, I looked through everything with a new light. All the things in my life have been changing. It's like I finally was able to hear Jesus calling my name, and whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I feel more positive that I ever had, which is totally new to me(I am naturally pessimistic). Now here's to me not stumbling.
Through darkness there is light.
PS. I love the Bible for the Android Phone!
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