Olivia will be 3 in October. Saphire will be 12 in July. If math is not your strong suit that is a 9 year and some change difference. Which makes doing anything with both of them a headache. Saphire is at the point were nothing is cool and being with your parents is lame. Although I know she will eventually out grow it, it makes me sad that she may never be close with her sister like other siblings I see close to age with each other, I must accept that it is what it is.
Jeff and I both grew up being extremely spaced out from our siblings. Him being 6 years younger than his siblings and the "save the marriage baby", and I being a teenage pregnancy that of course didn't work out, I am also 6 years older than my oldest younger sister, and 20 years from my youngest sister. Needless to say I am not as close to them as I would like to be. You know, the whole sha-bam, talking about boys, sharing clothes, arguing about bullshit.
With that we sent a deadline last year. Start trying to make another baby in May or not have anymore children at all. May is coming, and although I love the idea, I'm not sure I can do it. I feel guilty throwing Olivia into being the middle child and dividing my time x3. Olivia was also a demanding baby, not that all babies aren't demanding but she wouldn't even let me put her down. She slept with us up until a few weeks ago, and still crawls in bed with us around 5am every night(Secretly, I love it).
I have also been losing weight and seeing a trainer every week, so getting pregnant seems like a huge step back. I want another baby but at the same time it seems so scary. How come I can't just freeze time for one more year?
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